Ken and I were one of 13 couples who renewed our marriage vows in church Sunday. What an encouraging experience! The couples ranged from 52 years married to two years (we were the newlyweds!). Among the couples were a mother and father renewing their vows with their two daughters and sons-in-law.
The sermon focused on commitment. Marriage is just one of the symbols God gives us of commitment. The pastor used an interesting text: John 17: 1-10. He pointed out how, in Jesus last moments with his disciples, he wasn’t concerned about the suffering that lay before him, but about the comfort and reassurance of the disciples — and by extension, us believers today.
Commitment to relationship runs all through this passage — between Father and Son, between Jesus and the disciples. The pastor closed by urging us all to renew our commitment to Christ, just as the couples were renewing their commitment to each other.
The most solemn vows we’ll ever make were repeated — to love, honor, cherish and keep ourselves only for the other as long as we shall live. More than a few of the “brides” needed hankies before we finished.
I feel really blessed and supported by this church community.
Please welcome Tim Van Alstyne to the blogosphere. As a fellow Michigander (Michiganian?), Tim is practically my neighbor. He identifies himself as neoconservative and Calvinist. A sensible combination. Go pay a visit to his site, The Michigander.
Looks like I'll be in the office for a few hours tomorrow. Hot project has to be ready for a client review on Monday. It didn't help that my computer notified me it had a virus this morning when I logged on. I contacted our tech support and they got me back in shape -- only about 4 hours later! And it turned out to be some piece of spy-ware my computer ingested from some insidious pop-up ad! Sure could have used those hours ...
And then it'll be off to a wedding -- Ken's boss's daughter is tying the knot ... so that'll be a fun party!
Sunday morning we are taking part in a marriage vow renewal service at church, along with 8 or 10 other couples. Will probably have more to post on that later!
Rev. Mike has relocated his Hash House of Homiletics over to Movable Type. The blogroll is duly updated, so click on over to his new place and order up some coffee and ... what else?
Chante Mallard, 27, has been convicted of murder in the horrifying “windshield” case. So-called because the victim, a homeless man named Gregory Biggs, was caught in Mallard’s windshield after she struck him with her car. She left him there to bleed to death.
Pen, the author of The Gutless Pacifist weblog, and I exchanged some thoughts a while back about our justice system, and he proposed something called Restorative Justice. He begins to describe it in this post.
I don’t mean to make light of what Chante did — I think a colder, more callous disregard for human life would be hard to find. What I see in Chante’s lack of response to the dying Gregory Biggs is a failure to see him as a human being with the same value as herself. Drunk and stoned after a party, terrified by what she had done, her only thought was how to save herself. I think that as part of her sentence, she should be required to perform community service for the homeless every day of her sentence. Perhaps then she would begin to see them as human beings with real value.
Sometimes, no matter what we do as parents, our children fall into the same pitfalls that we struggled with in adolescence.
I’ve been reading Francis Schaeffer’s “Genesis in Space and Time,” which looks at the first three chapters of Genesis. His discussion of Gen. 3:6 spoke to me. (“When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.”)
We wonder, why didn’t Adam set his wife straight? Didn’t he hear the command straight from God’s mouth? Why was he so easily taken in? Wasn’t his responsibility to be Eve’s spiritual leader? Here’s Schaeffer’s take:
“Temptation is extremely hard to resist when it is bound up with the man-woman relationship. … How many young women are there who are faithful as Christians until they come to a certain age and feel with their whole being, without every analyzing it, the need for marriage and are then swept over into marrying a non-Christian man? … (I)n a way there is no greater agony than suddenly to fall in love and then to realize that one must say no to this natural drive because it leads in that particular case to a severing of our greater relationship — our relationship to God.”
The best I can do, for now at least, is to follow the advice of Ruth Bell Graham, who said of her husband that it was her responsibility to love him and God’s responsibility to change him. (Thanks to Josh for the quote.) I will be praying a lot for my daughter and her boyfriend.
In his Friday post, Rev. Mike cites a passage from a book by William Doherty, "Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart." This has been an "intentional marriage" weekend. No kids. Amy is camping (!) with a girlfriend and her family all weekend (she took a hair dryer! What's up with that? She can be such a girly-girl sometimes.) So Ken and I have been enjoying our alone time.
Being intentional in our marriages isn't just making time to go on "dates" together, or even what goes on in the bedroom. So much of it is communication. We have been learning in our small group about how important it is to pay attention to people. To truly listen and give them our full attention. After all, that is how God listens to us. It's so easy in our closest relationship with spouse and children to just tune out about half of what they are saying instead of stopping, looking them fully in the eyes and really listening with our hearts.
Do you remember the words to that Bill and Gloria Gaither tune?
Something beautiful, something good All my confusion, He understood All I had to offer Him was brokenness and strife But He made something beautiful of my life.
I was reminded of that song this morning when I read this article in my Sunday paper. It tells the story of a young man who committed an almost unimaginable crime when he was 14 -- he killed his mother, father and sister in cold blood one summer night in 1988. Looking back 15 years later, the article shows how Brandon Carnell is a changed man because of the power of God's love.
Brandon's story touches me with two things -- there is nothing we can do that can't be covered by the amazing reach of God's love and grace, how we can't clean ourselves up to earn God's favor but He gives us love unconditionally; the power of God's Spirit to renew a mind and change a heart and bear fruit. And also the power of Christian community. To take a young man to its heart and give him a place to grow in the Lord and minister to others. That's real Kingdom living.
Sure, why not add my voice to the cacophony? Josh Claybourn links to a good item at Christianity Today, about how some of the evangelical furor over the Harry Potter series has cooled off. Which is not to say there is no opposition. As proof, here's Mark Shea's post about the books yesterday, with a link to an excellent Time magazine article about the author J.K. Rowling's relationship with one of her young readers. (It brought me to tears, but then, I get emotional about things like that.) Shea's comments box filled up fast with arguments for and against the books. I haven't even had time to get through all of the comments!
As for me, I'll confess that I like the books. I have read the first four and I plan to buy No. 5 sometime (it'll be around ... I don't have to be the first kid on my block to read it). While I understand the concerns of those who fear that it will spur kids to dabble in witchcraft, or simply numb them to the danger of witchcraft, I tend to agree with those who see Rowling's books in the same tradition as Tolkien and Lewis. (I've read LOTR and the Narnia series too). While I understand there are differences, the overarching themes are similar.
My own child has no taste whatsoever for fantasy or sci-fi (much to my disappointment, I must confess). She read the first book, and got about halfway through the second when the movie was about to be released. They didn't do much for her. She's a very practical, down-to-earth kid and no way is she deceived by the magic portrayed in the books. If my child were a big fan of the books, I would read them with her and we'd discuss them. I think they do give an opportunity for conversations about morals and faith. As Darren points out in Josh's comments, it could even open the door for a Jesus conversation.
Update: And here's a link to a column on National Review Online (thanks to Mark Shea for the link) regarding John Granger's enlightening "The Hidden Key to Harry Potter" in which he argues that Rowling is writing in the Inkling tradition. Better put that one on my must-read list, too.
My hometown paper this morning ran this story low on Page 1. Some of the parents of high schoolers in this wealthy northern Detroit suburb are livid because the school yearbook included some photos and copy about partying — underage binge drinking at unchaperoned parties. The angry parents contend that this kind of exposure only glorifies an illegal and sometimes dangerous practice that is all too common in our high schools today. Other parents think it’s no big deal. The kids say they are just trying to accurately reflect an aspect of high school life.
For the parents who think it’s no big deal — they need to get a clue. Maybe they could start by reading this article. While alcohol consumption at unchaperoned or loosely chaperoned parties is not prevalent at my daughter’s school, it’s common enough that I hear about it. Amy has intentionally avoided more than one party because she’s heard there will be booze.
At one particular party (for 15- and 16-year-olds) that she told me about, the parents were fully aware of what was going on. I’m not clear on Michigan law, but I’m pretty sure it’s illegal. What’s more, I am outraged that they would presume the parents of kids attending the party would condone serving alcohol to their kids. If they want to let their own kids drink under their supervision, I can’t stop them. But don’t be offering the stuff to my daughter when I’m not there and I don’t know about it.
I just learned some sad news about a guy I used to work with. He is fighting what appears to be terminal bile duct cancer. Apparently the prognosis is not very optimistic. He and his wife have moved to their cottage in northern Michigan, where he can rest. He and his wife have been married over 20 years and they have a daughter in college. When we worked together, we used to laugh and share a lot of trials and joys about our kids.
I'd like to write to him, but what can I possibly say -- what words of comfort and encouragement can I offer?
That’s what we are — the old things passed away, behold new things have come (2 Corinthians 5:17). As Christians, we are no longer victims of our past. I once saw a church sign that read, “All Christians have a past, all sinners have a future.” I took that to mean that all Christians once were sinners, but no matter what our past was like, it is forgiven, dead and gone, paid in full.
And all sinners have a future (remember we’re all in this category, whether we are believers or not). I think it was William Faulkner who said “The past is prologue.” In a Christ-less existence, this sounds like the worst kind of determinism: you are doomed by your past to repeat your mistakes. Thanks to Christ, we sinners have a choice. We can choose a future of freedom and forgiveness. Or we can opt for a future of slavery to sin and death.
Bible Geek is back to blogging again over at Cruciform Chronicle. The site has a clean and catchy new look — with content to match. Go pay him a visit and tell him you’re glad he’s back.
“I think that parents of new college students have to learn that it is OK to ‘let go’ of their student.”
Oddly enough, I had a similar conversation on Sunday, with one of my friends whose only child is about to take off for the university. They had just seen “Finding Nemo” the night before, which made Mike realize that he is now letting his precious boy go off on his own little adventure. I could tell that this was something Mike was having to struggle with emotionally. About all I could do was give him a hug.
I only have two short years before I’ll be in his shoes, so let me say I am feeling your pain, brother. Now, I believe wholeheartedly that my job as a parent is to help my daughter develop wings to fly on her own. But that doesn’t mean the thought of her someday leaving home doesn’t bring me to tears. That the time might come when we don’t talk every day — well, that’s simply unimaginable.
When I get scared — and letting go is scary, you blessedly innocent college kids who still believe that you will live forever — I am forced to take God at his word. Proverbs 22:6 — “Train up a child in the way he should go. Even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Life has been trumping the blog lately on my side of the fence. But locdog is back from vacation. He must be feeling well-rested, because he’s blogging with both barrels blazing. Today’s post has locdog getting into it with his professor over the superiority of Western civilization. Here’s a sample:
“to me, any way you slice it, the bottom line was that europe was stronger than everyone else, and, through america, that remains true to this day. you cannot exploit someone who is not weaker than you.”
Welcome to Lee Anne's first web-based pity party. I felt really low coming home from work today. I've taken on a lot -- gotta have at least 80% billable hours. One of my projects was sort of forced on me, and it's a bit out of my comfort zone. Today, the training guy reviewing my first draft said he was "disappointed." Ouch. I'm not used to doing disappointing work. I should have put more into it. I should have asked for help on the parts I didn't understand (nasty old pride). I forgot to live by this cardinal rule: "And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father." Col 3:17
I came home to an empty house. Ken is returning from a business trip tonight. Amy was at a friend's house. When the thought of eating leftovers makes me want to barf, an omelet and a glass of wine are usually the antidote. Opened a bottle of Chardonnay (usually I go for a red, but not tonight), put on Prokofiev's 5th Symphony, whipped 2 eggs and chopped up a little ham and Swiss.
Just as I sat down to enjoy this lovely repast, Amy called -- she needed a ride home ... and soon because her dad was coming to pick her up for an overnight visit. So I ate faster and without the careful attention I would have liked.
Veteran newsman David Brinkley has died at age 82 from complications after a fall. One of my earliest TV memories is of his suppertime newscast with Chet Huntley. The opening strains of Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony were familiar to me long before I knew what a symphony was. (Ever notice how the theme music to Keith Olbermann’s “Countdown” pays a subtle tribute to that music? Or am I the only one hearing it?) Brinkley’s hard work, integrity and humility leave a strong example for broadcast journalists to follow.
My bad: I meant to say the opening strains of the 2nd movement of Beethoven's Ninth. And yeah, Olbermann even mentioned the music as he closed the nicely done obit/tribute to Brinkley on his show Thursday night.
It’s Amy’s CD, but I was listening to “Twenty-Four” on my way to work this morning. And thinking about these words:
I’m singing Spirit take me up in arms with You You’re raising the dead in me Oh, oh I am the second man Oh, oh I am the second man now Oh, oh I am the second man now And You’re raising the dead in me
Which led me to search for this Scripture in 1 Corinthians 15:45-49 …
So it is written: “The first man Adam became a living being;” the last Adam a life-giving spirit. The spiritual did not come first, but the natural, and after that the spiritual. The first man was of the dust of the earth, the second man from heaven. As was the earthly man, so are those who are of the earth; and as is the man from heaven, so also are those who are of heaven. And just as we have borne the likeness of the earthly man, so shall we bear the likeness of the man from heaven.
The Corinthian church was being confused by people who were arguing that there is no resurrection of the body. Paul’s beautiful argument throughout 1 Corinthians 15 includes this section, which argues that our identification with Adam (the first man) in his sin concludes in our identification (through faith) with Jesus (the second man) in his death and resurrection. So as the Holy Spirit works to conform me to the image of Christ, He is raising the dead in me. I am the second man.
Lileks is hot today. An “edgy” restaurant billboard campaign in Minneapolis gets him going about Ward and June Cleaver moments, knowing when you’re a parent, censorship and drawing the line. Here’s a sample:
“I’m your basic Democracy! Whiskey! Sexy! kind of guy. I curse. I’m about as prudish as a Medici pope. I’m a bad Lutheran. But: I know that there’s the private sphere of adults, and the public sphere of everyone, and stone me if you must but I think a certain amount of vestigial modesty and — gasp — hypocrisy should inform the latter.”
Now, I’m far from a prude. You can’t work in newsrooms for 15+ years and hold on to much innocence. And I’ll confess to laughing loud and long at Austin Powers movies. But even I have my limits.
I wouldn’t call it hypocrisy. It’s knowing that there is a time and a place for certain behaviors. It’s the difference between muttering a curse under your breath and using the F-word as a free-form adjective to describe every other noun. It’s about using such speech loudly in a restaurant within earshot of children. It’s the difference between holding my husband’s hand or touching his shoulder while we’re waiting in line at a grocery store checkout — and what happens when we’re alone behind a closed bedroom door.
It’s old-fashioned, but we used to call it etiquette. Now rudeness just passes itself off as edginess — and if it offends you, well, you’re just too tightly wound.
Welcome Michael Murdock to the fold. He’s a regular reader (imagine that!) and relatively new to the blogosphere. An ordained minister-at-large in PC (USA), Mike’s approach to blogging is with the Bible in one hand and the newspaper in the other. Sounds like a great plan to me. Pay a visit to his site, “Reverend Mike’s House of Homiletic Hash.” (Hash house? Does the coffee taste like diesel fuel?)
Update: Joel Fuhrmann's blog, "Right Left Whatever" has switched to Movable Type. I've updated the blogroll so the link should take you to his new site.
... coming up from the kitchen. Baking super-duper banana bread for a bake sale at work tomorrow. Proceeds go to Race for the Cure. It's a recipe I got from Cooking Light magazine. Banana bread souped up with lime, coconut, pecans and a dash of rum flavoring. Mmm. Darling husband hates banana bread, so this is a good use for those bananas I was going to throw away! And the person who makes the most popular item gets some kind of prize -- so wish me luck!
Update: One slice of banana bread left by 9 a.m. -- gone in 30 minutes.
Update #2: Darling husband informs me he does NOT hate banana bread. Looks like I'll be using those overripe bananas from now on!
Two of my friends and fellow bloggers are celebrating birthdays. Bene Diction. And Joshua Claybourn. Josh just turned a ripe old 22. Bene isn't saying. Jody, one of Josh's frequent commenters, mentioned that he has yearbooks older than Josh. Which got me to thinking ... so do I. I even have clothes that are older than Josh -- which fit me (again).
What was I doing on the day young Mr. Claybourn was born? Well, I was 24, had been married about 8 months. We were entertaining my husband's best friend from Kansas City and I was trying to work at the same time. I was working at The Oakland Press, a mid-size daily paper for the northern Detroit suburbs. That day I worked on the food pages. Cooked pork chops for dinner. Took Mark sight-seeing to lovely Detroit landmarks like the old Ford River Rouge plant (just kidding. at night the Rouge plant looks like something out of an Ayn Rand nightmare). We spent most of the drive singing songs from the '30s and '40s that my husband and his friend knew.
Alicia the Midwife at Fructus Ventris posts this fascinating letter (June 9 post. A pox on Blogger permalinks!) from a colleague of hers (another midwife) who just spent 11 days working with doctors in Basra. Just in the short time they were there, the impact they had on health care was huge. Don't forget to keep these people in your prayers.
Lilac Rose gets into the discussion, which started here, over the government’s role in charity. I read Mike Todd's post and the comments thread. I commented on Susan B.’s post, but thought I needed to expand on my ideas here.
My feeling is that we can't really expect grace from a government. The United States isn't a theocracy, and governments by their very nature are more interested in power than in grace. Expecting a government to dispense grace is like expecting lemonade from a turnip. It's simply not in its nature.
But the church, and individual Christians who make up that church (universal and local) are another matter entirely. As the recipients of God's lavish grace, we should be the first ones to give it. We should be fountains of grace.
Government “safety net" programs are important for people who need to get back on their feet. But I think that working for a living is Scriptural, and we should try to help people who are down on their luck to find work. I don't think God designed us to sit around on our duffs and be supported by the labor of others. From the beginning, even in Eden, God gave human beings work to do — “The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.” Genesis 2:15. So even before the Fall, God gave human beings employment and blessed it.
Some people don’t have the resources to get back on their feet easily — they may lack the education, or have physical or mental disabilities that make regular employment difficult. These people don’t need a government handout leading to further dependence on the system. They need training and care to help them find jobs within they capacities. A non-governmental program in my area that does this well is South Oakland Shelter. The shelter doesn’t have its own Web site, but this church’s description of the program gives you an idea of how it works. The people in the program spend the daytime learning job skills, how to interview and apply for and look for work.
Local churches rotate the housing and feeding of the participants. Since my own church doesn’t have shower facilities, we partner with another church in town. Last year, we took one evening meal. My husband and I ended up spearheading the dinner. Ken and I planned the menu, recruited a few volunteers, did the shopping and coordinated the cooking and serving. I thought he was a little overly ambitious planning pork chops and mashed potatoes … but by God’s grace we pulled it off. The real pay-off was the look on the people’s faces and the thanks they gave for a real hearty home-cooked meal. And after they had all eaten, we filled our plates, sat down at the tables and joined them.
Tonight I'm talking about a biblical perspective of stress management. The idea was prompted by a seminar at my workplace, which got me to thinking about what they got right -- and what they got wrong.
I'll start out talking about the physical reactions to stress and how they hurt our bodies. What's really at the root of stress? It comes from trying to be what we are not, from trying to carry what we are not meant to carry. It is like Atlas letting us have a turn at carrying the world on our shoulders. And we are smashed flat. We are not Atlas! Not for nothing did Jesus say, "Come unto me all you who are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."
In our seminar, the leader walked us through some self-hypnosis relaxation techniques: breathing control and mentally focusing on being grounded, supported, planted ... finding a calm center.
But relaxation techniques are only so helpful. They are pretty mechanical, and God didn't make us to be machines. We are made in his image, to love him with heart, soul, mind and strength. He designed us to work best in a relationship with him.
The Bible being a totally honest book, it is full of people under stress. We look at one, Paul. 2 Corinthians 11:23-28 is a good example of the kind of stress Paul underwent. And then there's Jesus. Never hurrying, always time for people, never annoyed by an interruption, full of energy for God. And where do we find him at times of deepest stress -- before choosing the 12, after feeding the 5000, in the garden of Gethsemane -- alone in prayer to the Father.
I close with several verses from Psalms that can be used for meditation when stress hits. My favorite is Psalm 32:7 -- You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.
This morning when I came downstairs for breakfast, I wished my husband a happy D-Day Anniversary. This day has some personal significance for him because his dad’s engineering unit landed in France about three days after the Allied Expeditionary Forces. I cannot imagine what sights, sounds and smells must have met his 22-year-old eyes, ears and nose when he arrived. He never talked about his war experiences much. We do know his unit spent the war keeping the troops supplied with the food and gasoline they needed to keep the pressure on the Germans.
Josh Claybourn has an excellent D-Day post over at his site, complete with links to memorial Web sites and a history lesson. Go read it, and hug a WWII veteran today. We have fewer and fewer of The Greatest Generation left to hug, you know.
If my father were still living, I wonder if he would vote Democratic. I was raised in a Democratic household, and that's how I've cast my ballots for most of my life. Heck, I even voted for Al Gore. But we all see the light eventually. And I expect to vote for a Republican president in 2004.
Thanks to a link from Christianity Today, in its Weblog item about the House passing a ban on partial-birth abortion, this piece shows just how inclusive the Democratic Party really is, despite all its protestations to the contrary. All I can say is that it's a damn shame. The values the Democrats used to espouse have disappeared.
“We do need to have a much better explanation than any we have had. Going to war to abort Husseinism is justified. But we are nevertheless entitled to know: How was intelligence information, presented as conclusive, so apparently illusory? …”
I recommend you read the entire piece. Then click over to the NPR web site and listen to this audio report, “Intelligence Claims on Iraqi Arms May Face Probes,” which was aired today on “Morning Edition.” Especially interesting were the comments by guys in the intelligence-gathering community regarding the pressure exerted by policy-makers to analyze intelligence so that the conclusions describe a reality the policy-makers desire -- rather than what is really there. One guy called it “wishful thinking” and compared it to a lesson his father taught him when he started deer hunting. If you sit in the woods long enough, you start seeing deer everywhere.
I agree that going to war to get rid of Saddam was justified. But I also feel entitled to ask, who, if anyone, wanted to see WMD so badly that they appeared to be everywhere.
Our church has formed a task force (oh, we Presbyterians are big on committees!!) to study changing our Sunday morning schedule. Currently, children leave worship just before the sermon to go to Sunday School. We want to see if there is interest and support for having an hour of Sunday School for all ages followed by an hour of worship for all ages.
Advantages of having two-hour Sunday School/worship -- time is built in for adult education classes. children get used to the practice of worship with their parents. Children feel welcome in the worship service, not like visitors. Children learn the hymns of the church.
Advantages of having kids in Sunday School during worship -- parents can worship without worrying about fidgeting kids disturbing others. Fussy people are not disturbed by fidgeting kids.
Aw, let me just admit right up front that I think we should switch to the two-hour schedule. Like Kingdom Come, I grew up going to Mass with my parents. I learned all the responses (in Latin at the time) and followed along in my own little Latin/English missal. I think we rob our kids of learning the awe and mystery of worship if we leave them out. I also want to have my own adult education time. Like, I really wish I could attend the session we're doing now on the Confessions of the church, except it starts at 11:30 and usually goes on until 1 p.m. or later. Unless we take 2 cars, it's impossible with an impatient teen-ager waiting to come home.
Sorry for the rambling ... I'm thinking through my fingers. But pray for me about this, please. I may end up chairing the task force.
I was already feeling sad and frustrated after a conversation yesterday at church with a senior member of our congregation.
Mark Byron’s Edifier du Jour on Sunday only reinforces my malaise. He wrote:
“One of the things that hit me about much of the Presbyterian crowd here in Richmond is the lack of expectation and boldness when compared to their more evangelical brothers. Their God seems to be more distant and less a player in their lives. There is a faith, but it is of a less-immanent God; they would be more comfortable than I with the old Bette Midler lyric: "God is watching us from a distance."
“Given the more deistic nature of the mainliner's God, worship seems to be restrained, for God isn't expected to do much.”
This particular church member took me aside to complain about the part of our service in which we greet one another, or as some congregations call it, passing the sign of peace. In her view, it interrupts the flow of the service, disturbs her focus on God, disrupts her experience of worship. I can understand why she would be upset. Besides, as she said, people greet one another when the come into the church and chat afterward at coffee hour.
I tried to explain to her all the reasons we include welcoming as part of the service — reinforcing that we are community, that we are reconciled to God and to one another by the saving work of Jesus, that we want to make sure that people don’t just greet the folks they know, but strangers and visitors.
I wonder if she heard a word I said.
She just sort of nodded her head and left me with, “Well, do something to change it, because several of us don’t like it!”
